Word of Advice

Note to Self

Don’t give up. Thank you to All of the Love by The Lox for giving me the inspiration and motivation needed to say this, for myself and others.

The only people that fail at where they want to be in life are those that give up. Because even if you don’t get to where you originally thought you would, the idea of not giving up will create happiness within your heart regardless. This could be idealism, but when has the world and yourself ever changed without unadulterated idealism?

With the help and grace of my friend, Sebas, who contacted his friends at UC Irvine, I completed the first day of shooting for a project I wrote. I could’ve given up on the first line I wrote. I didn’t. I could give up right now, as set-backs and a lack of proper audio equipment has me pulling my hair out in stress. But, I’m just not going to do that. 

For context, I’ve always recorded and edited projects by myself, cultivating a vision that is not rooted in my need for control as much as it is rooted in my need for independence. The difference between the two lies underneath my bed to scare me.

Fears will be faced by taking them at face-value. This project, which involves puppets and the culmination of years worth of music Sebas and I have made together, is teaching me a lesson to let go. When you have moving factors (i.e human beings) that have their own desires and visions, the original idea you have in your head plummets to the ground.

Thereby, latching on to the sanctity of your own idea could make you come off as sanctimonious in the process. Let go, and let God. After letting go, you might get a D, but only if you’re grading yourself on the rubrics set by others instead of your own, personal growth.

When you turn the phone on, you might feel like you’re a one-trick pony instead. You might see the manufactured, algorithmic success of those you have deemed successful, forgetting that they have felt variations of the feelings you have. You might forget that they’ve given up at some point too, only to get back up.

So, in a way, it’s okay to give up. But just don’t give up on yourself; trust your instinct and discern what should be maintained and left behind for the monsters of memory to spit up and chew out for occasional nostalgia. Keep moving. Maintain your consciousness.

Love others through community and be aware of the evils in the world. But when the time comes, keep the martyrs slain by missile strikes and missed rent checks in your heart while plugging in your headphones and marching to the beat of a body reflective of the rest of the universe – for all of its pain and suffering; for all of its joy and laughter; for all of its forever evolution; for all of it.

So, don’t give up, whatever it means to you. I don’t care if you want a career in finance, consulting, etc. I don’t care if you’ve realized your personal legend in life is to not have a career that suits your passions but instead to cultivate your passions out of your career instead. Either approach is completely valid in my eyes.

My favorite stuff has come out of surprise, but the surprise has somewhat always been accidental happenings, through my two hands, on my own camera. During this shoot the other day, Sebas’ friends came out to execute an idea I created. So as the drama major memorized my lines and said them, I couldn’t help but almost shed a tear.

The tear could’ve come from fear, but it also could’ve come from a prophecy of my feeling after seeing this through. That’s what life is all about. Just seeing stuff through, especially people. Burning bridges isn’t cool, at all. Nor is demonizing people. But you only realize this if you’ve burned bridges and demonized people. 

Additionally, you only realize this if you’ve burned the bridge between who you are now and who you want to be while demonizing yourself for doing it, instead of just maneuvering the bureaucracy of your brain to receive an infrastructure grant to rebuild the bridge.

That said, I choose not to demonize the imperfection of others, as it is rooted in my own. I choose not to walk forever with a fire under my ass and instead run towards the burning fuel of my own desires.

Desires eventually met – only by never giving up. Once you get to the finish line, I guess you realize that it was a mirage all along, and that there is no finish line. The world is eternal, eternally fighting, and eternally grateful. That is just what it is.

In a world where anything could be an indication that you should give up, don’t do it. Please. I believe in you. Shift your reality!